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Choose the Perfect Ring Bearer for Your Special Day

Choose the Perfect Ring Bearer for Your Special Day
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The ring bearer plays an important role in adding charm and cuteness to the ceremony.

How to choose the best candidate? In this blog, we will share tips on how to choose the best ring bearer for your wedding ceremony.

Ring bearer holding a ring pillow with two hands

The Tradition of the Ring Bearer

The role of the ring bearer originates from ancient Egypt, where the rings would be carried on a pillow to symbolize the never-ending circle of love.

Today, the same ring bearer carries one’s duties is still essential in modern weddings, with the individual entrusted with the responsibility of ensuring the rings make it to the altar and are safely handed over to the next or best man afterward.

But how do the bride and groom choose the right child to fulfill this important role? Should you include the ring bearer in your destination wedding plans? Here are a few things to consider.

The Role of the Ring Bearer.

The role of a ring bearer involves walking down the aisle before or after the bride and groom with a pillow adorned in satin that holds two wedding bands for them to exchange later during their ceremony.

Ring bearer facing forward

The expectations are for the ring bearer to walk carefully down the aisle. His pace should be steady.

Most importantly, the ring bearer needs to keep his hands clasped around the pillow.

Once he reaches the altar, he needs to wait, until an officiant instructs him to give it to either wedding party member involved in the marriage exchange.

Choosing the Perfect Ring Bearer?

Choosing a ring bearer for your wedding requires some thought and planning to ensure a smooth and remarkable ceremony. Here are some factors to consider when selecting a ring bearer:

  1. Relationship: Ring bearers are usually family members, such as cousins, siblings, or nephews.

  2. Personality: It’s essential to consider the personality traits of the child. You want to choose someone who is comfortable walking in front of a large crowd, without getting stage fright or nervous.

  3. Ultimately, it’s important to choose someone who fits well with your wedding plans. The chosen child should add joy as opposed to disrupting the flow of the ceremony.

Once you’ve selected a ring bearer, it’s important to prepare them for the role carefully. Set up a rehearsal that mimics the wedding ceremony to familiarize the child with their role. Remember, a ring bearer’s responsibility involves carrying precious cargo, so ensure the child understands the importance of their role.

Once the ring bearer reaches the altar, he’ll hand over the rings to the best man. The best man will then pass them over to the bride and groom. The ring bearer then takes his seat, where he can enjoy the rest of the ceremony with a sense of pride and honor.

Who Should You Choose?

Ring bearer holding the ring on his finger

Selecting a ring bearer for your wedding is an opportunity to include special young people in your event.

Below are some tips to help you choose young boys who should be your ring bearer.

  1. Age: Typically, ring bearers are between four and eight years old. Children within this age range are old enough to carry the rings.

  2. They are also young enough to add the ‘aww factor’ to the ceremony.
  3. It is best to avoid toddlers, who may struggle to handle the responsibility.
  4. Relationship: A ring bearer is usually a younger male family member, such as a nephew, little brother, or cousin. The children chosen should have a close relationship with the couple.

  5. Personality: A ring bearer should be outgoing, cheerful, and able to follow basic instructions. It is essential to consider whether the children you want to choose are comfortable being in front of the wedding guests or shy.

  6. Attire: The child’s outfit should complement the wedding theme and colors. You might want to discuss attire details with the parents, including a color scheme or a particular type of clothing or dress.

  7. Dependability: Although ring bearers carry decorative items that aren’t necessarily heavy, it is essential to make sure the chosen child can reliably carry the ring down the aisle without letting go.

Should the Ring Bearer Receive a Gift?

Groom and the ring bearer

It is customary for couples to give the ring bearer a token of appreciation for joining and participating in their special day.

Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, but they should be meaningful and relevant to the child.

For the ring bearer, you can give him something related to formal events.

For example a suit and tie or cufflinks. You could also consider buying him a baseball cap embroidered with his initials. Perhaps a cute stuffed animal that is wearing a mini tuxedo.

If you are looking for something more meaningful? You could engrave his name onto the box where you store your wedding rings. This would create an emotional connection between him and the wedding ceremony itself.

On top of that, it would also remind him of all the memories he made on your wedding day. Would you prefer something else? Other options include books with stories about weddings, and engraved pocket watches. Or personalized mementos from your big day such as postcards with photos from your wedding ceremony.

Giving gifts to the ring bearer is customary for many couples getting married. There are plenty of gifts you can give him depending on your taste and budget. No matter what gift you choose for him, it is important to make sure that it has some meaning behind it so that he will remember your special day with fondness for years to come.

Children at the wedding smiling lookin up

Who Pays For The Outfit?

It’s a common question for a wedding party to decide who pays for the ring bearer’s outfit.

Traditionally, the child’s parents would pay for the outfit.

However, as traditions have evolved, it’s more common for the couple getting married or the parents of the ring bearer to pay for their outfits as a gift for participating in the ceremony.

In the end, the couple and the parents of the children decide together who will pay for the ring bearer’s outfit.

Does the Ring Bearer Have to Carry a Ring Bearer Pillow?

Ring bearer holding the ring on his finger

Must the ring bearer carry the rings on a pillow?

No, a ring bearer pillow is not a requirement for a ring bearer.

While a decorative ring security pillow is a traditional way to present the rings, there are creative alternatives.

For instance, instead of using a pillow, a ring bearer can carry a small box or a more creative item. It could be a treasure chest, glass jar, or decorated seashell.

The chosen item can have a personal meaning. It should fit with a wedding theme or color scheme. Further, it should make your wedding ceremony memorable.

Ultimately, the couple getting married decides how the wedding rings will be presented during the ceremony. The primary goal is to make sure the ring bearer is comfortable.

If carrying a ring bearer pillow doesn’t fit into the wedding party’s overall design or theme, then a traditional wedding ring bearer carry pillow should not be necessary.

Does the Child Carry the Real Rings?

A bow carrying the rings walking with a flower pillow

Typically, the ring bearer does not carry the real wedding rings during the wedding ceremony.

It’s understandable for people to want to have fake rings to keep the real rings safe and secure until they are exchanged during the ceremony.

Some couples chose to use replicas or stand-in rings for the ring bearer to carry down the aisle.

The bride and groom can buy these rings and have them affordably etched with words that match the bride and groom’s respective vows.

Once the ring bearer has made it down the aisle, the best man will take the real wedding rings out of secure storage and give them to the bride and groom during the ceremony.

You can opt for using replicas or stand-in rings. The real rings can be kept secure until they need to be exchanged. The ring bearer’s role can still carry a symbolic element that adds cuteness and charm to the ceremony.

Is It Okay to Have More Than One Ring Bearer?

Ring bearer with a flower girl

Yes, it’s acceptable and common to have wedding party members have more than one ring bearer.

In modern weddings, it’s becoming increasingly popular to include multiple children in the ceremony as flower girls or ring bearers.

In terms of practicality, having more than one ring bearer makes the reception and procession more balanced and dramatic. If you have a micro wedding party made up of six or fewer people on each side, two ring bearers or more flower girls can help elevate the reception and processional portion of the ceremony.

Traditionally the bride and groom chose one of the children in the family, such as nieces, nephews, or cousins, who are often selected. But other family or friends’ children can also be an option.

It is always essential to have a detailed plan of who will walk down the aisle first and who will stand next to you and your future partner.

In conclusion, having multiple ring bearers is becoming more common in modern weddings. It’s entirely acceptable to have multiple ring bearers in the wedding ceremony.

By choosing the right children and your wedding planning more carefully, you can elevate your wedding and make your ceremony more memorable for everyone involved.

Can a Girl Be a Ring Bearer?

Girl walking with a blue pillow

Absolutely! The idea of a flower girl and ring bearer is slowly being phased out by couples who are looking to create alternative wedding traditions.

Girls can absolutely take on the role of a ring bearer – it’s all about what works for the couple, and what makes them feel most comfortable and special.

In addition, it’s also not uncommon for couples to choose two ring bearers or two flower girls instead of just one.

There’s no rule that says they have to be opposite sexes either! It’s ultimately up to you – so don’t hesitate to think outside the box when coming up with ideas!

In conclusion, choosing a ring bearer for your own wedding party is a significant decision. By keeping in mind the age, the relationship, and the personality of the child, you can find the perfect ring bearer that will help make your wedding ceremony memorable.


The role of the ring bearer is an important one in the wedding ceremony. It symbolizes the exchange of vows and the beginning of a new chapter in life for the bride and groom. By embracing the role and performing it well, the ring bearer adds an extra touch of cuteness and emotion to the wedding ceremony.